As we grow old, we change our bucket list with age, with time and life experiences. I stand to become a mother of a daughter someday. I am no feminist, neither I support women empowerment in every aspect of life. I want to raise a girl child, because I want to see how it feels to parent another woman. I have seen my mother raising me in a surrounding of a mid occur mentality. Where an Indian girl has to abide by several regulations.
She has to learn and have a good command of English language, she has to secure the top in education, yet she needs to grow her hair long. She needs to maintain her glowing skin and care of her complexion and fight every day to lighten it. She cannot meet any person who belongs to male gender and even if she did, she cannot fall in love. Love is a crime, and only those who has shattered future falls in love. If her friend who happens to be from male species , texts or calls her, she is asked a plethora of questions, just to understand the fact if she is in a relationship with that person. Yes, relationship takes a subjective viewpoint. What is actually a relationship? Well it means she has not only attached herself with the person emotionally but physically too. And if her hormone was not in control in her puberty, then she might be thrown away of the society that strictly forbids conjugal relationship before a ritual celebration called - marriage. She has to marry a person that belongs to her caste, yet financially strong enough to support her needs. If she has loved a man, she needs to get married to that person irrespective of what he turns out to be in future, If she gets pregnant before marriage, then she is no less than a sex worker in the society and that she can burn her face or drown herself but not live in the society that is so pure !She needs to fear rape, death, man, and the patriarchy. She cannot step out without covering herself to safeguard her body from being exploited !
I want to give birth to baby girl someday and raise her as a human and not a woman. I want to push her out of my house right from her young age, to understand what it means to be in the world and not just family. I would expect her to make friends with all communities and caste and make her understand that this is a hierarchy that we have designed and can destroy as well. That if her friend's father earns his living by selling groceries, he deserves the similar respect from us. She needs to swim, run, hop, walk and drench in rain, get tanned in sun and go through a painful path of life that 70% of Indians do everyday. I would want my daughter to have bad relationships. So that she breaks her heart , cries, understand what it means to be with a person that cannot support the meaning of love. She would grow again like a phoenix and would go out there and make better choices. I would want her to take bad decisions in life, so that she understands what it means to spoil time and lose value. I would want her to study the subjects she wants to and not force her to take up something that the world puts a value of ! She needs to travel, travel alone so that she knows what it means to be diversified. She needs to know how to protect herself and not just cover her breasts from the eyes of a man. I would encourage her to stay up till night and still go to work next morning to live in the reality. She should go out and booze and let know what it means to take a toll on her health !I would not want her to get embarrassed about the fact that she menstruates and hides sanitary napkins inside her pocket. She needs to earn hard for survival yet let her know she is pampered by her parents:that she can fall back to her parents in the hour of need. She needs to know what it means to fight a life, the world full of struggle. And most importantly she needs not to put up a banner and screech for women's rights, she needs to follow her mind and not the one that framed by her society.
I want to parent a girl child, so that she understands the real meaning of living a life of a human and not a woman or a man. I want to tell her, she is a woman and she needs to do things that a man cannot do and not what man can do.
She has to learn and have a good command of English language, she has to secure the top in education, yet she needs to grow her hair long. She needs to maintain her glowing skin and care of her complexion and fight every day to lighten it. She cannot meet any person who belongs to male gender and even if she did, she cannot fall in love. Love is a crime, and only those who has shattered future falls in love. If her friend who happens to be from male species , texts or calls her, she is asked a plethora of questions, just to understand the fact if she is in a relationship with that person. Yes, relationship takes a subjective viewpoint. What is actually a relationship? Well it means she has not only attached herself with the person emotionally but physically too. And if her hormone was not in control in her puberty, then she might be thrown away of the society that strictly forbids conjugal relationship before a ritual celebration called - marriage. She has to marry a person that belongs to her caste, yet financially strong enough to support her needs. If she has loved a man, she needs to get married to that person irrespective of what he turns out to be in future, If she gets pregnant before marriage, then she is no less than a sex worker in the society and that she can burn her face or drown herself but not live in the society that is so pure !She needs to fear rape, death, man, and the patriarchy. She cannot step out without covering herself to safeguard her body from being exploited !
I want to give birth to baby girl someday and raise her as a human and not a woman. I want to push her out of my house right from her young age, to understand what it means to be in the world and not just family. I would expect her to make friends with all communities and caste and make her understand that this is a hierarchy that we have designed and can destroy as well. That if her friend's father earns his living by selling groceries, he deserves the similar respect from us. She needs to swim, run, hop, walk and drench in rain, get tanned in sun and go through a painful path of life that 70% of Indians do everyday. I would want my daughter to have bad relationships. So that she breaks her heart , cries, understand what it means to be with a person that cannot support the meaning of love. She would grow again like a phoenix and would go out there and make better choices. I would want her to take bad decisions in life, so that she understands what it means to spoil time and lose value. I would want her to study the subjects she wants to and not force her to take up something that the world puts a value of ! She needs to travel, travel alone so that she knows what it means to be diversified. She needs to know how to protect herself and not just cover her breasts from the eyes of a man. I would encourage her to stay up till night and still go to work next morning to live in the reality. She should go out and booze and let know what it means to take a toll on her health !I would not want her to get embarrassed about the fact that she menstruates and hides sanitary napkins inside her pocket. She needs to earn hard for survival yet let her know she is pampered by her parents:that she can fall back to her parents in the hour of need. She needs to know what it means to fight a life, the world full of struggle. And most importantly she needs not to put up a banner and screech for women's rights, she needs to follow her mind and not the one that framed by her society.
I want to parent a girl child, so that she understands the real meaning of living a life of a human and not a woman or a man. I want to tell her, she is a woman and she needs to do things that a man cannot do and not what man can do.
